I fail at participating

I fail at entering contests (specifically, the contest of ). I did this TODAY. The contest ended A FEW DAYS AGO (pair your guy with her guy). And no, this time I was not procrastinating. I swear, really I wasn't. Here's what happened.

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Breaking the fourth wall - A Chester and Crow story

Me: Once upon a time, there was an artist by the name of...

<Chester clears his throat behind me>

Chester: Isn't this supposed to be about me and this bloke next to me?

<Chester points to Crow. Crow waves at us politely.>

Me: Yes, but you gotta let me build up to you guys.

<Chester and crow sit on the floor, Chester slouches... the bum>

Chester: Hey!

<Crow shrugs and starts playing with his hair loopy things>

Me: Chill out, Ches. ANYWAY! As I was saying, there was an artist by the name of DisturbedMediocrity...

Chester: Hm, clever. <obvious sarcasm is obvious>

Me: ... Ignoring you now. May I continue?

Chester: I thought you were ignoring me?
<lights a cigarette>

Me: <deep, calming breath> Basically, what I'm trying to get at is that I entered a contest...

Crow: You mean you attempted to enter it.

<faceplam>

Me: Not you too...

Crow: Just saying... you didn't get very far.

Me: I know, I know, I know.

<Chester and Crow give each other knowing looks>

Me: What the hell where those looks for?!

Chester: You know, I think I should tell this story.

Me: WHAT?!

Chester: Let me tell it. You're just going to lie, or give stupid excuses for your procrastination.

Me: I would not lie, and my excuses are not stupid.

Chester: But you admit to procrastinating?

Me: A little... BUT, I did try. Several times.

<Chester rolls his eyes>

Chester: Yeah, yeah.

< Pokes Crow>

Chester: Back me up a little, would you?

Crow: I would, but she doesn't know how to write my character, cause I don't belong to her. See?

<Holds up ' Property of Kasame' tag, Chester looks at it curiously>

Chester: Where the hell did that come from and where is it attached to?

< Proceeds to vaguely search Crows person for the origin of the tag, Crow smiles coyly>

Crow: Wouldn't you like to know?

Chester: That would be why I asked.

Crow: Why do you want to know?

Chester: Cause that's weird.

Crow: Aren't you straight, though?

<Chester looks kinda appalled by the insinuation of the question... lets watch him spazz>

Chester: YES. What the hell does that have to do with anything?!

Crow: You're asking me such a personal question...

Chester: Asking where you managed to pull a giant " property of so and so" tag from is a personal question?!

<Crow bows his head sheepishly>

Crow: I don't ask you about your creator.

<Chester stands, all pissedoff like, and flicks his cigarette away in annoyance>

Chester: SHE'S RIGHT THERE! < points at me like the crazy, maniac that he is... pretty sure he's flailing too> Typing this, and grinning evilly and... ARE YOU FUCKING LAUGHING AT ME, JULIA?!

<I'm gonna play innocent here>

Me: No. <fake smile>

<Chester sits back down, rubbing his right eye to prevent it from twitching>

Chester: I'm... just.... you guys... fuck you both.

<Awkward silence... >

Crow: All that cause your uncomfortable with your sexuality. Shame.

<Chester turns his head slowly... like really sort of in a creepy way... towards Crow. You're in for it now, buddy>

Chester: I fucking beg your pardon?

Crow: Well, you started freaking out when I brought up if you were straight or not....

Chester: .... AND?

Crow: If you were a hundred precent on it, you wouldn't have been so sensitive about it.

Chester: Look here, you little son of a...

<Oh snap, Chester rant. He's lighting another cigarette... better if you don't hear... er... read this>

Chester: AND I DON'T KNOW WHO THE FUCK YOU THINK YOU ARE, MATE, BUT...

Me: Yeah, let's skip that and talk about the pictures. The frst one, my original idea, had them meeting in a bar after the events of "the anniversary". I started that before I wrote the ending to that story, and it became non-canon in a way, cause of the changes I made last minute to the story. I ended up deleting that picture (hell, I deleted MOST of my Chester/Crow attempts). Besides, I doubt Crow would hang out in a bar.

<Chester continues to rant on the floor behind me>

Me: *Sigh* My NEXT idea had them meeting in a park. This came to me after I read that the time had been extended on the contest, and I could make a background if I wanted to. So I did... I made it first... which ultimately screwed up my ability to color in the guys. I tried several different ways to color them, outside of erasing the background that was in their lineart (omg, that would have been tedious), but couldn't do it. I saved it, cause I liked it, and will probably get back to it at some point. : [link]

Chester: ...BREAST, YOU LITTLE QUEEN. I HAPPEN TO LIKE THEM VERY, VERY MUCH!

Me: Wow. Uh... then I realized, Chester would kick himself in the balls (somehow) before going to a park EVER. So then I thought, "how about in a dream, while he's locked up in the mental ward", cause Crow, he's magic and stuff. I figured he'd know how to there (but I'm probably wrong).

<Looks at Crow... poor guy looks pale... thankfully, Chester hasn't stood up for this rant>

Me: So, I did my fist version of the "snow dream" uh... dream, (I had a nice story idea to go with it too, darn it), but I messed up on Chester... all over (which I accidentally deleted. My bad). Like his hair was too long, his hand was all weird and such, and the coloring... ugh. I ended up scraping THAT picture, but not the idea, and tried AGAIN, this time, with a close up shot of them: [link] COLOR FAIL AGAIN. Also, Chester's hand hates me to draw it. I'm pretty sure it does, anyway. So... then I got my last idea the day AFTER the contest ended...

<If you could see me, I am grinning like I'm evil>

Chester: SO YOU CAN JUST *beep*ING GO *beep* YOURSELF!

<Waits for it...>

Chester: <Looking thoughtful> *beep*... *beep*.... *BEEEEEEEP*.

<Chester looks utterly confused, and Crow is pointing and snickering at him... SAVES THAT MOMENT TO MAKE PICTURE!>

Chester: *beep*, *beep*er, *beep*ed, *beep*ing, *beep*, *BEEP*!!!

<Chester doesn't look nearly as amused as me and Crow.>

Chester: What the *beep* did you do?

Me: Nooooothing. <fake smile>

Chester: The *beep* you didn't, you've gone an censored.... I CAN'T SAY *BEEP*?!

Me: No, Chester, you can't say 'hell'.

Crow: It's better this way. Your way of speaking... it's rude.

Chester: <eye twitching> "RUDE"?! YOU THINK I GIVE A FLYING *BEEP* ABOUT BEING "RUDE"?!

Crow: <completely unaffected by Chester's outburst> You should. You'll make more friends if you do.

<Crow is nodding is affirmation, and Chester... looks like he wants to eat Crow>

Chester: <breathing heavily... maybe this was a bad idea?> "Friends"? <his eye is twitching now... and he's got that weird vein by his temple... shut up, I'm his creator, I can see through his hair> You think I care about... "friends"?

< I feel another rant coming on... waits for it... aaaaannnndddd.... there he goes! Lot's of beeps happeining. Let's just... leave them to that.>

Me: So anywho, my last idea was me censoring Chester in some way, while Crow is laughing at him. There is no background... and this little story/explanation/rp with myself thing has become longer than intended.... BUT IT'S DONE, AND I LIKE IT kinda. I hope you guys like it too. And is made of win and let me in the contest anyway! That's awesome in a bag, yo. And just for kicks, here's my first version... which I failed at. Surprised? Me neither: [link]

Chester: AND TO THINK I THOUGHT YOU WERE ACTUALLY *beep*ING CUTE, YOU LITTLE PRETENTIOUS *beep*ER!

Me: Wait, what?

Crow: What?

Various other characters I created appearing out of nowhere, including Chester's sister, Caidence: WHAT?!

Chester: Uh.... um.... well... ah, *beep*.

Me: Well, that was unexpected.

Vartan: Indeed. Ami, can you fix this?

Crow and Chester: Fix what?

<Awww, Chester's blushing cause they said the same thing at the same time ^____^>

Chester: I hate you. < pinches the bridge of his nose> All of you.

Ami: Sure I can! Just a little bit of magic and some help from Crow, and we can send him back to his creator and this will all have been nothing but a bad dream for Chester.

Chester: <check out the hopeful gleam in those pretty eyes of his> You can do that?

Ami: Hell yeah. Ready Crow?

Crow: .... I guess. <depressed sigh>

<Awwww... I feel bad now>

Crow: Nice working with you, Chester.

Chester: ... Yeah, yeah.

Caidence: You're really going to end this so sadly?

Me: Yep. If it involves Chester, it needs to be sad somewhere.

Chester: Whatever. Can we get this over with?

<Ami and Crow do their magic thing, and there is some magical stuff that happens... then Chester is back in his hospital room, alone>

Chester: <groggy, and miserable> Fucking hospital food... giving me weird dreams...

<Chester rolls over, and attempts to go back to sleep>

THE END
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P.S. Chester doesn't look NEARLY as confused as I wanted him to. ^___^

Chester is mine.

Crow belongs to